Wednesday, April 11, 2012

2 jokes that truly exemplify the failure that is modern liberalism ...

By John Sykes

From rightwing news’ A Morality Tale Warning Against Liberalism:

Once in the Soviet Union Ivan and Mikhail were equals. But Ivan found a cow one day and his life got instantly better. The cow, not Ivan’s wife, pulled the plow, the cow gave free milk to Ivan’s family and his children got healthier. The cow birthed calves that grew to provide meat for Ivan’s table and Ivan sold the meat to others. Soon Ivan seemed like a very rich man to Mikhail.

Finally Mikhail had had enough. He prayed to God that he and Ivan were equal again like they once were. God answered Mikhail’s prayers and told him, “Tomorrow you will both be equal again.”

Mikhail praised God saying, “Thank you God that tomorrow you are going to kill Ivan’s cow!”

And from the outer reaches of the blogosphere:

If you start  with a cage containing five monkeys and inside the cage, hang a banana  on a string from the top and then you place a set of  stairs  under the  banana, before long a monkey will go to the stairs and climb toward the  banana.

As soon as he  touches the stairs, you spray all the other monkeys with cold  water. After a while another monkey makes an attempt with same result ...  all the other monkeys are sprayed with cold water.

Pretty soon  when another monkey tries to climb the stairs, the other monkeys  will try to prevent it.

Now, put the cold water away.

Remove one  monkey from the cage and replace it with a new one.

The new monkey sees the banana and attempts to  climb the stairs.

To his shock,  all of the other monkeys beat the crap out of him.

After another  attempt and attack, he knows that if he tries to climb the stairs he will be  assaulted.

Next, remove  another of the original five monkeys, replacing it with a new one.  The newcomer goes to the stairs and is attacked. The previous  newcomer takes part in the punishment... with enthusiasm.

Then, replace a  third original monkey with a new one, followed by a fourth, then the fifth. Every time the newest  monkey takes to the stairs he  is attacked. Most of the monkeys that are beating him up have no  idea why they were not permitted to climb the stairs. Neither do they  know why they are participating in the beating of the newest  monkey.

Finally, having  replaced all of the original monkeys, none of the remaining  monkeys will have ever been sprayed with cold water.  Nevertheless, none of the monkeys will try to climb the stairway  for the banana.

Why, you ask?

Because in  their minds..........that is the way it has always been!

This, my  friends, is how Congress operates... and is why, from time to  time, all of the monkeys need to be REPLACED AT THE SAME TIME.